Contact Seller
- Posted On: 11/09/2026
- Title: Two Male Mute Swan Cygnets DNAed and pinioned
- Name: Brad Foy
- Location: Boswell, Pennsylvania
- Champion Bloodlines – Proven Goose Enforcement Genetics
Offered for consideration are two young male mute swans descended from one of the most feared bloodlines in the history of Canadian Goose population control.
These are not your average decorative pond ornaments. These are fourth-generation, genetically predisposed, feathered instruments of Canadian goose suppression.
**Their great-grandfather, "Benjamin,"** was a legendary figure whose name was whispered in terror throughout Canadian goose migration circles. Known simply as *"The Terror of Lancaster,"* Benjamin ruled his waterways with an iron beak and an unwavering commitment to border security. To this day, migrating flocks reportedly take a 40-mile detour to avoid his former territory.
**Their grandfather, "Abraham,"** carried on the family tradition with distinction. A decorated veteran of the infamous *Battle of Cow Pond (2013)*, Abraham was credited with 12 confirmed Canadian goose kills during a single campaign. His ruthless efficiency earned him the unofficial title of *"The Butcher of Cow Pond."* Local geese still observe a moment of silence every spring.
But even these remarkable accomplishments pale in comparison to those of their father.
**Their father, "Jedidiah,"** is a living legend whose exploits have become the stuff of waterfowl nightmares.
In December 2021, during a particularly brutal cold snap, eight Canadian geese found themselves stranded in a small patch of unfrozen water on Stoughton Lake.
Jedidiah approached the desperate refugees under the guise of friendship, generously distributing Marlboro Reds among the exhausted travelers.
Once their guard was down, Jedidiah proceeded to drown seven of the eight.
The eighth was deliberately spared and permitted to return north to deliver a simple message:
*"Tell your people what happened here."*
To this day, the incident is remembered in Canadian goose folklore as **"The Stoughton Lake Massacre."** The lone survivor reportedly refuses to fly south of Lake Erie and suffers from an uncontrollable twitch whenever someone lights a cigarette.
Jedidiah's hostility toward all things Canadian extends well beyond waterfowl. He has been known to aggressively confront innocent bystanders simply for holding a bottle of Molson beer. Canadian flags, hockey jerseys, and casual mentions of poutine are strongly discouraged in his presence.
**NOW AVAILABLE: THE NEXT GENERATION**
These two young males have yet to establish their own battlefield records, but their pedigree speaks for itself.
They are seeking a suitable pond or lake where they can continue the proud family tradition of aggressive territorial management and uncompromising goose deterrence.
Ideal applicants should possess a body of water, a healthy appreciation for questionable family histories, and absolutely no sentimental attachment to Canadian geese.
**Serious inquiries only.**
No Canadian geese need apply.
*References available upon request. Goose references are considerably harder to obtain.*